


Six Times Janus Dropped and Six People Who Took Care of Him.

by Callie_Girl



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Age Play Little Deceit | Janus Sanders, Age Regression/De-Aging, Non-Sexual Age Play, Sympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sympathetic Light Sides (Sanders Sides), Sympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, Sympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, Sympathetic Sides (Sanders Sides)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:33:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28925136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callie_Girl/pseuds/Callie_Girl
Summary: Before the Split, King would take care of Janus whenever he regressed. Now King is gone, and Janus doesn't have a caretaker.Until the others find out.-I suck at descriptions
Comments: 15
Kudos: 99





	1. Remus

Janus had been regressing for a long time. Long enough for King to have been there for the first one, and the ones in the following years. King, or "Papa," as Jay called him when he was regressed, had rolled with it, and it hadn't been long before they had routines for Janus to follow when he was regressed, signals in case of accidental regression in front of the others, things both of them were okay and not okay with, and so on. Because of King, Janus's first few years of regressing had been joyful and safe.

Now, King was gone, and Janus was alone.

Whenever he regressed, which wasn't often because he did his best to force himself not to, he spent his time shifted into the form of a child, a two-year-old, playing in the nursery King had made for him before the split. Most of the time, he was happy to play alone with his toys and snakes. But, sometimes, little him missed his papa so dearly it ached. And when that happened, he often spent his entire regression crying, his sweet snakes trying to comfort him.

That was how Remus found him.

Remus, as usual, had burst into Jay's room without knocking, intent on telling his friend his delightfully horrible new idea, but had found the room empty. He knew Janus was in there, it wasn't exactly like the snake side to escape out the window, so he looked around. Absurd as it was, he even looked under the bed. Then, finally, in the walk-in closet.

There was another door back there, cracked open, and from behind it Remus could hear... crying? Not like Janus was crying, but like a baby was crying. Had Janus conjured himself a baby? Was there a baby side Janus hadn't told him about? He pushed his head through the door, trying to see what was happening-

Well, it was a baby alright. More like a toddler, but there was a baby in what looked like a nursery, clad in Janus's colours and sobbing like it's puppy had just been shot in front of it.

Was it- It couldn't be... Could it?

Remus stepped inside and knelt next to the sobbing child. Janus or not, this child was crying, and he hated it when children cried. Professionals had standards, after all. "Hey, baby... Um..." He grabbed the child under its arms and lifted it out of the blanket it was tangled in. It was still distraught, but now Remus could see scales and one snake eye. Definitely Janus.

What was he supposed to do with a baby? Remus had never had any experience with babies. They ate... they ate the yucky green stuff, right? And milk! Babies liked milk! But what kind of milk? Hopefully not soy milk. Remus would not be able to deal with baby Janus if he liked soy milk. Um... Maybe he would be okay with the normal milk in the fridge?

"Alright." Remus readjusted his hold on Janus, cradling him against his chest. Janus calmed a bit when he did, sobs turning to sniffles, and Remus glanced down at him and was hit with a memory so strong he nearly stumbled-

 _"Oh, you're so_ cute! _" He cooed, reaching down and gently poking Baby Jan's nose. Janus stuck his tongue out on instinct, and he laughed._

As the memory faded, Remus stood in the doorway like an idiot, blinking again and again. That was... a memory. But it wasn't his memory. If it was his, he would have already known Janus regressed.

Was it one of King's memories?

Janus began to fuss in his arms, and Remus readjusted him again and carried him down to the kitchen.

* * *

Babies, it turns out, do not like the fridge milk, mainly because Remus did not check the fridge milk before serving it and found out it went sour. Babies will remember this and refuse any other bottle of fridge milk, no matter how fresh it is. Remus tried conjuring up the yucky green stuff, but since he had no idea what it was, he wound up conjuring some green slime mould, which he knew on instinct baby Janus would not love him for. So, he put some bananas and some strawberries and yoghurt in the blender and made some kind of pathetic smoothie, which Janus drank despite Remus personally thinking his smoothie-making school suck.

More than once he considered calling Morality and getting him to take care of baby Janus. But he doubted Janus didn't want anyone else to know about... this, so he stayed quiet.

But still, he had no idea what to do with babies.

Eventually, he conjured a playpen and put Janus in it, then retrieved an armful of stuffed animals from the nursery and dumped them unceremoniously on top of him. He turned on Scooby-Doo.

And thus, baby Janus was successfully distracted.

Remus sprinted up to the nursery, looking around desperately for something- anything- that could give him some clue as to what the hell he was supposed to do with a baby. His eyes landed on a child's drawing of two stick figures, a tall one with a beard and a crown holding the hand of a little stick figure.

King! Of course! King probably knew about this before the split! Maybe he could find something in King's room!

After a few minutes of practically tearing King's old room apart, he finally managed to find a little notebook with "Baby Jay" written in gold glitter pen. Flipping through it revealed schedules, which foods Janus liked and disliked, how to deal with him when he was grouchy, signals to show an accidental drop-

Bingo!

He bought the notebook back down. Baby Janus was staring at the screen with rapt attention, which, now that Remus wasn't in a blind panic, he found adorable. According to King's journal, Baby Jay was supposed to be put down for a nap in a few minutes, so Remus scooped him and his stuffed animals up and carried them to the nursery.

* * *

It took a lot of struggling and suffering through a half-hour tantrum to finally get Jay to sleep, but Remus emerged victorious, if exhausted and a little bedraggled. He wanted to sleep too, but according to King's book, letting baby Jay take too long of a nap was bad because then he wouldn't go to bed at a reasonable hour. So, while he waited for the stove timer to ring and signal Janus's two-hour nap was over, he read more.

According to the book, baby Jay didn't talk, needed diapers (shit, Remus never checked if he had one,) and hated most types of milk (including soy milk, which was a relief.) By the time the alarm rang and scared him out of his skin, he'd gotten through most of the book. He went up to the nursery, ready to try again with his new understanding of baby Jay-

Only to find adult Janus standing in his room, snapping on his gloves.

"Oh, hello, Remus." Janus smiled, brushing his fluffy hair out of his face. "Everything okay?"

He had to admit, he deflated a bit. He'd been so excited to use his newfound knowledge. But hey, Janus would be little again eventually. "Do you remember any of what just happened?"

He didn't miss the brief flash of fear in Jay's eyes. "I was taking a nap all day. I've only just woken up."

"So you don't remember anything about age regressing?"

"Age regressing?" Janus blinked at him in a near-perfect display of confusion, but Remus could see the underlying fear. So he hadn't wanted Remus to know. It was almost enough to make him drop the whole thing, but he was pretty sure babies needed people to watch them.

He blew out a deep breath and sat on the bed, then motioned for Janus to sit next to him, which he did. "Jay, I know you age regress. I found you in the nursery as a baby, and I found King's journal on it. I spent all afternoon taking care of you. Remember? I accidentally gave you sour milk?"

Janus made a face, revealing that he very much did remember, but tried again to deny it. Remus wanted to sigh.

"Look, I know about this. I've been taking care of you all afternoon. You don't have to lie. I don't think it's bad and I'm willing to help if you let me." He held out his hands to Janus, inviting him to take them.

After a long pause, Janus finally nodded and took his hands.

"That would be nice."


	2. Patton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even with Remus helping, Janus still has unexpected drops. Thankfully, Patton is there to help.

Despite Janus's earlier reservations, Remus helped make everything so much better. Now that he was back on the drop schedule he'd had with King (once every two weeks,) his unexpected drops dropped, and so did his anxiety. so much less worrying now that an unexpected drop was both less likely to happen and, if it did happen, Remus knew what to look for and could drag him off before the others noticed, rambling about some grand idea he had. Soon, regressions became the stress relief they were supposed to be.

However, no system was without its flaws. Even though Remus could normally drag him away before he shifted into his baby form, Remus wasn't always around. In the few months following Remus finding out, there thankfully weren't any unexpected drops when Remus wasn't around. He wanted to hope it wouldn't happen, but he had a feeling it would eventually. Hopefully, he would have time to figure out what to do if that happened.

Unfortunately, he didn't.

* * *

Janus didn't like eating with the others. Roman and Remus argued constantly, Patton was a bit too peppy for his taste, and Virgil still hated him for literally no reason, so he often made himself breakfast after they'd all left to do whatever.

On this particular day, he wanted pancakes. He mixed eggs and water into the pre-made mix, then, deciding to treat himself, dropped a few blueberries into the batter after he poured into onto the skillet. Unintentionally, the berries made a kind of open parathesis shape, almost like a smile...

King had made pancakes like that for when Janus was both adult and regressed. Pancakes with blueberry smiley faces on them. He missed King. Papa, he missed papa-

Janus stood there, staring at the pancake as it began to burn, tears in his eyes. He didn't even realize he was regressing until it was too late to do anything about it.

Oh no.

And instead of doing anything about it, he stood there like an _idiot_ , watching his pancake burn and hanging into his adult headspace by his fingernails. Part of him registered that he needed to sink out, to find Remus or go to the nursery, to do _something_ \- but he was frozen. He couldn't move.

And, just when he thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, someone appeared in the kitchen doorway and gasped.

_Oh no._

* * *

In the few weeks after Janus was accepted, Patton made an extra effort to include him (he always had, but he was hoping Roman and Virgil would get a clue,) but Jay was still... nervous. Patton didn't miss how he never made eye contact, never let them touch him, never ate with them, and how he would occasionally get really tense and sign something- Logan told him it was sign language for "help"- at Remus, and Remus would drag him out of the room. He hoped Janus would learn to loosen up with them, but the lack of progress was disheartening. He tried not to take it personally. He couldn't expect years of cutting remarks from Virgil and Roman and general coldness from himself to be erased because of a few movie nights.

On that particular day, Patton was heading to the kitchen to make cookies- snickerdoodle, which he remembered were Jay's favourites before the split- when he smelled something burning. He'd turned into the kitchen to see Janus standing by the stove, spatula in hand, staring at something that was smoking in the skillet.

He rushed forward and turned off the fire. Janus cringed away, almost like he expected to be struck, and his hand flew to his mouth. Patton was horrified to see tears in his eyes.

"Janus?" He reached out gently, grabbing the snake sides free hand. "Hey, kiddo. What's wrong?"

Janus didn't reply. He looked back towards the charred remains of his pancake and started scraping at it.

"You can't salvage that," Patton grabbed the spatula and the pan and dumped the pancake before Janus did something stupid like try to eat it. He loved the other sides, but they tended to lack common sense. Janus made an upset noise, and Patton turned back to him-

Only to find a baby in his place.

The baby looked at him for a moment and then burst into tears.

Ignoring the hurricane of questions in his mind, Patton scooper the baby- a toddler, maybe around fifteen months?- into his arms and began shushing it. He was definitely Janus, but Patton didn't know why he had suddenly turned into a baby. 

Baby Janus's sobs turned into wails. Knowing it was only a matter of time before the others came to see what was happening, Patton sunk out to his room. He spent several minutes comforting Jay, then turned on the tv and set the baby next to him on the bed.

Janus was not content to stay on the bed. Patton let him down when he saw he wanted it (he didn't want Janus falling and hurting himself) and Janus proceeded to toddle around the room at his baby pace, exploring everything he could reach and chewing on a few of Patton's stuffed animals. Eventually, he got tired of walking and started crawling with just as much speed, until he wasn't looking where he was going and hit his head on the corner of Patton's dresser. This caused a five-minute upset, after which Jay was content to sit on the bed as long as he could chew on a plush dog.

After a while, he noticed Jay's eyelids beginning to droop, so he turned off the tv and turned down the lights. "Wanna take a nap?" Janus shook his head vehemently, crossing his arms and sticking out his bottom lip in what was definitely a pout. Patton smiled. "No? Well I guess I'll just have to take one myself. Night-night, Jan." He closed his eyes and pretended to fall asleep. There was a half-minute pause while Janus pouted- he didn't want to nap- before he burrowed under Patton's right arm and gripped his soft shirt with his little baby hands. It took only a few minutes for Jay to fall asleep.

Even though he knew it was a bad idea to sleep when there was a baby in his bed, Patton drifted off, too

* * *

Patton woke up a few hours later to an impatient toddler poking his cheek. He opened his eyes slowly, and a little hand smacked his nose, as if to say "hurry up!"

"Hey buddy," Patton smiled. "What's up?"

Janus a small, upset noise, and smacked Patton again. What could be wrong? Was he sick? Hungry? Weren't toddlers supposed to speak at this age? Sure, they would have a limited vocabulary, but-

Wait.

Patton pressed his hand to the crotch of the diaper he could see through Jay's baby pyjamas. Wet. Of course! He quickly changed it, and Jay was happy again. They played for a bit, then watched some more tv. 

By the time Patton should've started making dinner rolled around, Janus was still a baby. Patton couldn't just leave him in here while he went to cook, he could get hurt or choke or god knows what else, but he couldn't bring toddler Jay downstairs without the others figuring out what he sensed Jay wanted to keep a secret and asking questions.

What was he going to do?

Both of them startled when someone started pounding on Patton's door, and Jay began to cry loudly. The knock came again, more insistent, and Patton started panicking a bit. Whoever that was couldn't be allowed to-

"Patton! Open up!"

Oh great, it was Remus, the third-to-last person Patton wanted to see Jay like this. He did his best to shush Jay and them opened the door, purposefully blocking the baby from view.

"Yes, Remus?" He winced internally. His stress showed in his voice. Remus would know something was wrong.

"Is he okay?" Remus forced his way into the room and strode over to the fussing baby, picking him up and cradling him against his chest. His very stressed voice morphed into relief and joy. "Hey there, buddy. Did you have fun with Pat?"

"Ih!" Janus replied, laughing joyfully. He waved his little fists in joy, and Patton felt his heart melt just a little.

"You did? Good!" Remus tickled Jay's tummy a little.

Oh. That made everything a lot easier. "You already knew?"

"M-hm. For about two months. Do you know what happened?" He let Jay down and Jay instantly toddled over to the side of the bed and pulled down Patton's plush, then toddled back over and showed it to Remus. "Oh, who's this?" Janus babbled a little bit. "I see! Nice to meet you!" He knelt down and shook the dog's paw.

"What do you mean?"

Remus glanced back at him. "Normally he only accidentally regresses when he's super upset. Do you know what happened?"

He tried to think back- Janus standing over the burning pancake, frozen- there hadn't really been anything Patton could see that would upset him. "No... He was making blueberry pancakes and he just... froze, I guess."

"Hm. I'll have to ask him when he's big." Janus stuck his arms up, clearly begging Remus to pick him up. Remus obliged. "I can take him while you cook if you want. I'll take him back to the nursery."

"Nursery?" He knew there wasn't a nursery in his half of the Mind Palace. Did the Dark Sides have one in theirs?

"King made it for him. It's kind of behind his walk-in closet. If you rise up in his room and go in, you'll be able to see the door." So King had known about this? King was his caregiver? Patton's heart ached. Janus had lost his caregiver- probably the only one other than Jay himself who knew about the regression. Poor kiddo.

"Okay. Want me to bring you guys food?"

Remus nodded. "Normal food for me, a smoothie or something for Jay. Looks like this'll last a while longer. He prefers strawberry banana. Don't bring milk, he hates it."

"Okay." Remus sank out, and Patton allowed himself a moment of wonder. Who had known the chaotic side could play the role of loving caregiver?

* * *

When Janus finally aged up the next morning, he was more than a little embarrassed to know that Patton knew. But Patton was so sweet about it, ensuring the snake side again and again that no, he didn't mind, and he actually had fun and would be willing to care for baby him again and no, of course he wasn't going to tell the others, even Virgil. They talked for a while, and eventually Janus allowed Patton to also be a caregiver. Two heads were better than one and all that jazz.

He had to admit, he felt a little better with two caretakers. Remus couldn't always be at home with all of his imagination quests, but Patton was a homebody and preferred to stay in the Mind Palace, meaning that Jay could always go to him during an accidental drop. Any accidental drops would be easier to hide when both Remus and Patton knew what to look for.

This could work.


	3. Logan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas is doing poorly mentally, meaning Janus is sick. What is Logan going to do when he finds himself faced with a toddler during his caring-for-Janus shift?  
> His best. He's going to do his best.

Mental health is no joke. When everything is getting too stressful and too much, it's important to take a step back. If you don't, things will most likely just keep getting worse and worse. Even just a small break could do miracles for that stress. And people had every right to take one.

Unfortunately, Thomas never got that memo.

Janus coughed so hard he half expected blood to appear on his hand like it was some kind of Victorian drama. He was tired, ached all over, his head felt like it was full of steel wool, and he couldn't go two words without coughing up a lung or whatever was in his stomach. Ever since everything started going wrong on Tumblr, Thomas's mental health had been going downhill fast, meaning Janus, who was an imaginary embodiment of Thomas's mental health, was getting sicker and sicker. But instead of taking a break from the internet like a normal person, Thomas kept going on to Tumblr every day, kept seeing the controversy, and just stayed on! Like some kind of idiot!

The others were trying desperately to get Thomas to take a break, but Thomas was dead-set on doing whatever the heck he was doing, so Janus's health kept deteriorating. He was miserable and just wanted to stay in bed until this disaster was over.

They took turns taking care of Janus while the others tried to talk down Thomas. Logan and Patton were the best, Virgil was the worst, Remus babied him like he thought Janus was regressed, and Roman had no idea how to help a sick person. Thankfully, Roman and Virgil signed up for Janus-sitting the least, the others the most.

"Take these," Logan ordered, putting two pills and a cup of water in Janus's hands. "I've concluded that your symptoms are similar to measles, so I have readjusted your treatment."

Janus groaned and downed the pills. Measles- he was going to murder Thomas when he got better.

"You should also get as much sleep as you can," Logan continued, refilling the glass and placing it on the bedside table. "I will be in my room. Summon me if you require anything."

Janus nodded and Logan turned off the lights and sank out. He was asleep the second his eyes closed.

* * *

_ "Wake up, sweetling." Janus huffed. Why had he been woken up? He was so grumpy about it that it took a few seconds for the term sweetling to register as odd. Patton and Remus never called him sweetling. Only King did. _

_ He cracked open his tired eyes, and all exhaustion disappeared as he saw a very familiar face hovering above him. King! _

_ "Papa!" He gasped, sitting up and hugging King as tightly as possible, not bothering to wonder how this was possible. King was back. King was back, and that was all that- _

_ All of the blood drained from his face as he realized he was sitting in something cold and wet. Mortification flooded him. It had been years since he had last wet the bed. Why did it have to happen now, right when King was back? _

_ King smiled in loving understanding and rubbed his back gently "It's okay, sweetling. It's only an accident..." _

* * *

Janus woke up for real that time. Still half asleep, he looked around wildly for King, only for a heavy stone to sink in his gut when he realized that King wasn't really there. It had only been a dream.

He readjusted in bed, and horror filled him as he realized the bed-wetting part hadn't only been a dream.

"No-" he whispered, throwing back his blankets. His pants and sheets were soaked. "No!" He forced himself out of bed. A heavy wave of vertigo hit him and he fell, landing on the wood hard. Tears leapt to his eyes and he screamed, "NO!"

And then he had another reason to cry, because Logan burst into his room. Janus nearly screamed again. He'd wet the bed, was laying the floor, half-regressed, with the bloody measles, and now Logan was here! GAH! "Janus, what-"

"Go away, I'm fine!" He snarled, then proved how fine he was by dissolving into a coughing fit so bad he threw up. He watched Logan look from Janus, to Janus's pants, to the wet spot on the bed. A flash of absurd relief crossed the logical side's face.

"Oh, that's all." He gently pulled Janus to his feet. "Janus, it's perfectly understandable-"

"Understandable?!" Janus near-shouted. He's wet the bed like a baby! How on Earth was that "understandable?!" 

Logan shrugged. "You're very sick. Accidents happen."

Janus felt himself slip further away from his adult headspace. "Accidents happen." How often had King said those words to him? When he had an accident, when he spilt something, when he did something wrong... "Accidents happen."

"Let's get you cleaned up." Logan helped him out of his dirty clothes and ran a lukewarm bath (to bring the fever down) for him. The mess in the bed was taken care of with a simple snap of his fingers, and the clothes went into the wash.

* * *

He's gotta be doing this on purpose, Janus griped mentally, staring at his tiny reflection in a billion little bubbles. Why would Logan run him a bubble bath unless he was trying to make him drop? First it was "accidents happen," then he helped Janus undress and went as far as to help him into the freezing bath, and now these bubbles? Logan must have known somehow.

He leaned his aching head back against the icy porcelain. Why had Logan made this bath so cold? He'd been shivering slightly ever since he got sick, but now he was a step away from convulsing. He was so cold...

* * *

Logan nearly jumped out of his skin when a loud, terrified scream came from the bathroom. He sprinted inside, looking around for a threat or whatever Janus was screaming about.

Whatever he expected, it certainly wasn't a toddler in the tub, screaming as it tried to get out of the deep tub but kept slipping in the water.

"What on Earth-" He grabbed the toddler by under the armpits and tried to lift it up for closer inspection. Tried to being the operative word there, because wet toddlers are as slippery as oil on ice and the kid was still in distress, screaming and squirming and fighting.

They say the loudest shout ever produced by a human was 121.7 decibels.

Logan was pretty sure the toddler shattered that (along with Logan's eardrums) when he slipped out of Logan's hands and fell to the floor.

Logan might have screamed, too.

He picked the toddler back up again, this time prepared for the slipperiness and struggling. It was definitely Janus. Why he was currently a screaming and still very ill baby remained to be seen.

"Ah... There there?" He tried. Janus cried harder.

What was he supposed to do? Illness he could help with, but spontaneous baby-ization was completely out of his league.

He cradled the baby against his chest, wincing slightly as the still very wet child got oatmeal water (good for the rash) all over his shirt.

It took quite a bit of time, a lot of frustration, and Logan accidentally putting a diaper he conjured on backwards, but eventually he had baby Janus diapered, clothed, and no longer screaming. He put him in bed and tucked him in, but Janus was still fussing.

Of course, he was still ill. Nobody liked being sick, especially not babies.

It took a lot of effort, but eventually he got Janus to take sufficient medications and drink a bottle of water. He really hoped the Tylenol he'd given the other side earlier had scaled down properly. The overdose wouldn't kill him, he was imaginary after all, but the symptoms would just make all of this worse.

After a while (calming Janus as much as possible and cleaning the sticky, spit-out child medicine off of both of them,) Logan sat on the bed, cradling Janus against his chest. With his fever down to one hundred and the medicine taking care of his various ailments, Janus was actually a very sweet baby. Logan liked to claim he felt no emotion, but his heart was warm with affection.

He managed to convince Patton (while baby Janus was hidden in the closet) to allow them to skip dinner, and then waited until everyone was asleep to bring Janus down to the kitchen for food. Janus rejected the bottle of milk, so Logan gave him more water, then coaxed him to eat some chicken soup. He made himself a bowl of pasta.

After they were both successfully sated, he went back up, gave Janus another oatmeal bath and round of medicine, then improvised a cradle (he wasn't very good at conjuring) by removing a drawer from the dresser, clearing it out, lining it with blankets, and putting the empty clothes hamper over it like some sort of cage. He decided to take the bed instead of sinking back to his room. Babies needed supervision.

It took a while, but eventually, both of them were asleep.

* * *

Logan was rudely awoken from the best sleep of his life by a thud. He opened one eye. From what he could see through his terrible vision, it looked like baby Janus had managed to get the laundry basket off of his makeshift cradle and was now toddling over.

A hand smacked him on the nose, and he opened both eyes. "Yes?" Janus hit him again. He picked him up by the armpits again and scanned him. He looked like he was getting better-

Oh, right, Janus likely needed his diaper changed.

Once that was done, Janus toddled over to his door and smacked both hands against it, clearly wanting to be let out but too short to reach the handle.

"You can not go out now, the others are downstairs," Logan reasoned. Janus gave him an impressive stink eye and hit the door again.  "You can not go out." Janus smacked the door again. "Cease that." Another smack. Ugh. If he had known this was what helping Janus with his illness entailed, he would have allowed Patton to take this shift. "Janus!"

Janus turned to him and let out a string of babble that was definitely meant to be rude. And hit the door. Again.

"You can not go downstairs now," Logan repeated, striding over and picking up the angry toddler. "I understand that you may be frustrated, but-"

"Hey Logan?" Logan nearly dropped baby Janus again. Uh-oh. Patton. This wasn't good. "We got Thomas to stay away from the controversy. How's Janus doing?"

"Abba!" Janus half-shouted, struggling to get out of Logan's arms. "Ah!"

Patton went very, very quiet. Oh no oh no oh no oh no- "Just a moment, Patton!" He quickly set Janus down in the closet, closed said closet, and then opened the door. "Hello, Patton. Can I help you?"

"Uh..." Patton squinted slightly, considering him, "Did I just hear a baby?"

"No!" Logan lied terribly, voice cracking with anxiety. "No, of course not, why would I-

Janus chose that moment to start babbling loudly. Logan made a face and Patton pushed past him, strode over to the closet, and opened it. Baby Janus toddled out and crashed into Patton's legs.

_Think fast-_ "He was stressed out and it was making his symptoms worse, so he... turned into a baby to... to relieve stress?" Yeah, even he didn't believe that.

"Logan," Patton smiled and shook his head a little bit, picking up Janus and cradling him. Logan fumbled for another (undoubtedly pathetic) excuse, but it died on his lips when he saw the look on Patton's face. He didn't look surprised, or even slightly confused. _He knows._

"He just..." Logan made a weak gesture,"Turned into a baby. And I don't know why."

"How long has he been like this?"

"Since an hour after lunch yesterday. He was in the bath, I was cleaning, and when I came back in, he was... a baby."

Patton nodded. "Yeah, he regresses when he gets too upset. I can't imagine he was super jazzed about being sick."

And suddenly, a lot of things made sense. The way Janus would disappear for several hours every other Saturday, the way he sometimes froze up, signed "help," and either Patton or Remus would drag him from the room, the sippy cup he'd found in the dishwasher a few weeks back that Patton had snatched from him the instant he'd found it and had never given him an explanation- Of course! Janus regressed, Patton and Remus took care of him.

"That makes sense." He also understood why it had been hidden from them- Janus was a very private person, and Logan was willing to bet money that Patton at least had found out on accident. And they probably feared that Roman and Virgil would make fun of him for it. They wouldn't, of course. They teased each other mercilessly about most things, but coping mechanisms were off of the table. As long as Janus didn't insult Roman's taking out his frustrations on imaginary foes or Virgil's poetry, they would not tease him about his littlespace.

Of course, that would be the logical thing. Roman, at least, was mostly willing to coexist with Janus. Virgil, on the other hand, absolutely despised the snake side. When he thought about it, Logan wasn't one hundred percent sure that Virgil wouldn't make fun of Janus for this. 

"If it is okay with you and Remus, I would like to ask Janus, when he is big, if I may also be a caretaker. You need your mental health days and Remus has his quests, but I am always in my room. Added that I have the most knowledge about caring for young children. And, it's one more person watching out for an accidental regression."

Patton nodded, pressing his lips together like he was trying not to smile. "It's fine with me."

"Why are you smiling?" Had he said something amusing? He had not intended to.

"I'm just imagining you taking care of him while he was sick. How much medicine did he get on you?"

Logan winced. "At least half of the bottle of cough syrup and a great deal of Benadryl."

Patton giggled, then readjusted his hold on Janus. "I can take him for now. You look tired."

He was. He hadn't been sleeping much lately, but he'd been able to ignore his exhaustion in favour of getting things done and taking care of Janus. His brief sleep the previous night had highlighted his exhaustion, and he was fairly certain the shadows under his eyes could rival Virgil's makeup. On reflex, he almost protested that he was fine, but he stopped himself. If he was accepted by Janus as a caretaker, he would need as much energy as possible to deal with a toddler. "I... I would like that."

"Alright. Sleep tight, Lo."


	4. Roman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since the split, Roman's had this song in the back of his head. He doesn't know why he has it or where it came from, but he can tell it's important. Sometimes, when he's upset, he sings it.  
> What will Janus do when he hears Roman singing King's lullaby?
> 
> Let's play "how many times do I have to rewrite this before my computer doesn't delete my progress long enough for me to post." We're at six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I'll also apologize for the quality, or lack thereof.

For as long as he could remember, Roman had a song, a lullaby, in the back of his head. It was a sweet, loving tune, the kind one would sing to a small child to lull them to sleep. He didn't know why he had it, but it felt important. He'd tried everything he could think of to find out why he had it- He'd asked Logan and Patton, the two oldest, but they didn't remember the lullaby or know why it was needed. He'd even asked Remus, but Remus had nether the song or a reason for its existence. He'd sung it over and over, but that wound up giving him more questions than he'd begun with. The song, sometimes, when sang in a calm environment, bought back a faint emotion, like something from a dream he couldn't remember. Love. Not the love between partners, closer to the love between siblings or friends. Maybe the love between a parent and child, but he wouldn't know anything about that last one. This "answer" was even more frustrating than not knowing. None of them were siblings except Roman and Remus, and none of them were parents or whatever except, technically, King. He came to the conclusion that the song must have been King's, and that meant he would never know why it existed.

Sometimes, when he was upset and the others couldn't hear, he would sing it. Despite its mystery, the song was actually pretty comforting. Part of him kind of envied whomever the song had been made for. Whoever made it must have really loved them.

* * *

With every new person who knew about his regressions, more stress was lifted from Janus's shoulders. Logan's addition, though embarrassing when Janus had first aged back up and found the teacher side waiting, helped incredibly. He'd reviewed the old schedule and determined that, while it was very good, a drop every two weeks wasn't sufficient for Janus's needs. Now, Janus had a scheduled drop every Saturday, caretaker duties alternating between the three who knew based on who was available.

He pretended not to notice, but he noticed how, in addition to how much better he felt on a schedule, the others were doing much better, too. Patton stopped wearing himself so thin all the time. Logan ate and slept until the shadows under his eyes faded and his body softened up a bit. Remus was just all-around happier. He'd never imagined that his drops could help the others with their stress, too. It was comforting to know that it wasn't a hassle and they actually enjoyed it as much as he did.

* * *

This time of year was always hard for him. The beginning of spring. The anniversary of the split. 

He tried to put on a happy face for the others, but Logan, Patton, and Remus noticed when the normally bubbly and loud baby they usually played with turned into a sullen and quiet one who only wanted to nap. They fretted over him, and that only made him feel worse. On top of feeling like crap and this already being a hard time for Patton and Logan, now he was upsetting them, too. Great.

He was wandering the Mind Palace aimlessly, trying to find something to do that wouldn't involve going back to his room. Too many memories there. The Palace was quiet, mostly because Remus was off doing something in the Imagination that Janus probably didn't want to think about. Logan was helping Thomas with a meeting, and Patton was having a mental health day, meaning he couldn't go into one of their rooms. That left Roman, who was having a bad day after an argument with Virgil, and Virgil, who still hissed every time Janus entered to room.

So, he was wandering the halls.

And then, just as he was walking by Roman's door, which was open a crack, he stopped dead.

_"Fall into your dreams, my dear  
Sail on silver wings  
You are safe with me, my dear  
I love you,  
I'm here."_

Unbidden tears leapt to his eyes. King's lullaby... It had been so long...

For a minute, he just stood outside Roman's door, listening to the song he hadn't heard for decades, tears beginning to run down his face. Part of him recognized that it was kind of creepy to stand outside Roman's door like this, and Roman would probably sing it to him if he just asked, so he reached out and knocked.

The singing, of course, stopped. He'd known it would, but it still made his heart ache. The door flung open, thankfully in and not out. "Janus! What can I- Hey, are you okay?"

"Can you keep singing?" Yeah, he probably should have gone through some sort of formalities, but he wanted- needed- Roman to keep singing. "P-please?"

Roman looked confused for a second, then he realized. "The song? You know it?"

"My lullaby. King sang it for me when... when..." He cut himself off with a sob, which, looking back, was probably a good thing because telling Roman about his regression would have delayed hearing more of the song. Roman looked confused but, thankfully, didn't ask questions.

"Of course I'll sing more. Come in." He opened the door wider and ushered Janus inside, then closed it and practically dragged him to sit on the fainting couch. Then he sat next to him and carefully wrapped an arm around him.

He'd never been hugged by Roman. The face Janus had put on to get the others to respect him was one that didn't like hugs, and Roman respected his boundaries. He'd hated himself for it, especially when the touch starvation started to settle in, but it had never been stronger that it was now. How many times had he laid awake and night, aching for King's hugs, not knowing that Roman's hugs felt exactly the same?

_"You'll always have me, my dear_   
_Relax now, sleep tight._   
_I will be right here, my dear._   
_I love you_   
_Sleep tight."_

* * *

The longer Roman sang, the more Janus relaxed, until the other side was practically melted against him. As Roman began the song again, Janus's arms wrapped around him. He squeezed Janus tighter, then, not quite knowing why, began to rock him a bit. Janus didn't pull away. When he glanced down, he saw that Janus's eyes were half closed. He looked like he was about to fall asleep.

_My baby._

Roman blinked several times, and his voice hitched just a bit. Where had _that_ thought come from?

Wait... The love between a parent and a child... A lullaby for Janus, one that would sing to a small child... The way Janus was acting... But Janus hadn't been around for that long, not since Thomas was four. That was a bit old for lullabies. Or maybe it wasn't. Roman wasn't a leading expert on children. Maybe King had taken care of Janus when he was very young? Or maybe the lullaby was something King sang for Janus when he was stressed or upset?

No, that wasn't it. Roman wasn't sure how he knew that wasn't it, but he did. But if it wasn't, what else-

Wait.

Did Janus... No, it couldn't be... Of all the sides, Janus was probably the least likely to... No, actually, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense that Janus was the one to regress. He'd always had a feeling that the snake side was a lot more vulnerable than he was letting on.

"Janus," he whispered as he ended the song for the third time. "Do you... regress?"

Janus stiffened, and Roman braced himself for the other side to bolt. Janus did not bolt. He did, however, stay silent for several moments. The wheels turning in his head were almost visible. "Y... Yes."

"How old?"

"Two."

"And King took care of you?" If King... Then... Uh oh.

"Yes..."

Cheezits, no wonder Janus was always so stiff with him. If Roman didn't exist, he would still have King. Were Roman in his shoes, he would be mad, too. "I..."

"It wasn't your fault," Janus whispered. "I don't blame you. Not at all. Got over it a long time ago."

Roman was fairly certain he was lying, but he didn't push. "Do you think... Would it be possible..." How was he supposed to phrase this? "Can I take care of you? When you're little, I mean." He didn't know why he was so eager to take care of baby Janus- he knew absolutely nothing about children- but he was. Maybe it was some of the King in him.

There was short pause while Janus thought about it, then, to Roman's delight, he nodded. "You'll have to talk to the others about getting into the schedule, but you should be able to on Saturday."

 _YES!_ He almost had to physically restrain himself from getting up and dancing. "Which others?"

"Remus, Logan, and Patton." A bit of indignation rose in his chest (Remus knew before him? _Remus?_ ) but he stamped it down quickly. Or course Remus knew first, he was the only other Dark Side and, before Janus got accepted, his only friend. Patton was an obvious choice, being the father figure for them all, and Logan was probably the only one who knew how to actually deal with small children. Roman himself wasn't good with children and didn't know Janus all that well, and Virgil... well, Virgil was Virgil. "In the meantime... can you sing it again?"

Grinning, Roman obliged.

* * *

By the time Saturday rolled around, Roman was practically vibrating with excitement. He'd read King's journal (given to him by Remus) on the matter several times, talked with all three of the other caretakers about everything baby Jay, and had planned a very fun, baby-friendly excursion into the Imagination. There was a new baby unicorn that he was sure Janus, baby or not, would absolutely adore.

Breakfast seems to take years, the few seconds it took to sink into the nursery King had made for Janus seems even longer. Janus is already there, sitting in the rocking chair. He smiled slightly when he saw Roman, but Roman could see that he was a bit nervous. It was okay, though. Roman was dead set on proving that he could be the best babysitter ever. "Ready?"

Janus nodded, closed his eyes, and then, in the blink of an eye, there was a toddler sitting in the chair, bi-coloured eyes wide.

"Are you ready for an adventure?" The enthusiasm in his voice made Jay grin and reach his little arms out. He scooped the child up and sank out to the Imagination.

* * *

He was right- Jay loved the unicorns, especially the baby and the oldest one, a black one named Legend, who used to belong to King. Legend was normally a grumpy thing with no patience for anything, especially not young ones. But the second he saw baby Jay, he became the kindest, most gentle creature Roman had ever seen. Jay seemed to know Legend, and then it occurred to Roman that the two probably already knew each other. Once Jay got tired, Roman took him to the palace in the Imagination, quietly promising Legend that he'd bring him back as soon as he could.

After a two-hour nap, Roman took Jay on a tour of the palace at the gardens, then prepared a feast for lunch. Everything was going excellently and they were both having fun.

Until they passed by a large painting of King.

Roman didn't think much of it. The portrait was something he saw at least once a day, as unremarkable as the wall it was on. He passed right by it and continued down that hall, not noticing that his toddler companion had stopped until he was at the room to his chambers. When he spun around, he saw Jay had stopped halfway down the hall and was staring up at the portrait.

"Hey, Jay, what's up?" Roman asked, walking back over. He didn't expect much of an answer because the notebook said that baby Jay didn't talk, but he got one, clear as day.

"Papa." Jay reached towards the painting, the tears that were gathering in his eyes beginning to leak down his face.

Oh.

Uh oh.

Crow, why didn't he think of that? The portrait was irreleent to him, but to Janus, regressed or not, it was of the person who took care of him and whom he had lost. Roman knelt down, putting a gentle hand on Jay's shoulder. What was he supposed to say? "You miss him, don't you?"

Jay nodded. The tears began to flow faster. Roman opened his arms and Jay moved into them, wrapping his tiny arms around as much or Roman as he could. They stayed like that for a few moments.

Then, Roman got an idea.

He didn't say anything about it to Jay, not wanting to get his hopes up in case it couldn't be done, but he spent the rest of their time together thinking about it. Remus would say yes, of course he would. The only question was how soon they could do it (and if it was even possible, but Roman ignored that one.) Once the playdate was over and Janus was back in his big headspace, Roman all but sprinted to Remus's room.

Maybe, just maybe, Janus would get to see King again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive my songwriting skills, I've never been good at poetry.  
> So, I've stopped hating Virgil Sanders now. This doesn't mean I've not completely forgive him, but I'm willing to take some steps towards no longer hating him. His chapter will be freaking adorable.


End file.
